“There must be some peace in letting go”
May 22 was the CD release/final show of one of my very first favorite bands, Jealousy Curve. I flew to Philadelphia to have one last Jealousy Curve experience. I’ve spent more time than I really had to spend this past week or so writing about the show and the band and the impact they’ve had on my life over the years…I got up to 11 pages…single spaced. I was going to break it all down into a series of posts covering the many different ways this band has influenced my life, each with pictures, music, and video from over the years. Some lovely bits of writing really, but I’ve decided in writing about this band I was basically writing about myself and I just don’t think we know each other well enough quite yet for me to be spilling my entire life’s story. Although to say that my engorged eulogizing revealed so much about me pretty much sums it all up: Jealousy Curve = my life.
Their final show was celebrating the release of their new CD, Marionettes!, and the band played just about all the songs from the new disc. They also treated us with songs spanning their entire catalog, prompting the audience into massive sing-alongs to classics like “Gravity” as well as unreleased gems like “I Need to Hear I’m Right”. They did several of my favorites from their EP, This is for your own destruction, including “Nothing, Nothing at All” and “Black Widow”, but I wish they would have gotten around to more tunes from their debut album, Life as an Addict. It would have been nice to hear “Useless” or “Bruise” one last time.
But the performance itself was certainly not lacking. Face-melting rock was delivered and every ounce of emotional intensity was laid bare on the stage. By the time they got to their encore of “I’m Sorry”, “Selfish Thing”, and “Until We’re Free”, it was impossible to hold back the tears. It’s an odd combination; smiling, dancing and crying…
I am still reeling from the profound loss I feel. Jealousy Curve was such an important fixture in my life for so many years, their shows were the very milestones by which I lived my life. But it’s not just the loss of the band and of the music, but of the entire family created by the band that I felt so much a part of…and an excuse to visit the city to which so much of my heart still belongs. So even though I know this is not the end and I should be looking forward to all the new musical projects that will surface, I can’t help but feel a bit lost, as if one of the pillars of my very foundation is now gone.
Jealousy Curve- “Control” (Marionettes!)
And you can call me crazy if you want (and many people do)…but in my opinion everyone should have something in their lives that makes them irrationally blissful. For me, that’s my music. So this post goes out to anyone who has ever been emotionally impacted by a particular musician or band. I hope that you understand.
For all the music played, and dear friends made
the sing-alongs, the quite songs, and all the conversations
that drifted into the wee hours of the morning
To Jealousy Curve: you will be missed, but never forgotten
A short playlist:
Selfish Thing (Life as An Addict)
Gravity (I’ve waited long enough) (Life as An Addict)
nothing, nothing at all (This is for your own destruction)
i’m sorry (This is for your own destruction)
Man Alive (Marionettes!)
Don’t Lie Down
We Never Wanted a Legacy (unreleased)